Just wanted to put out a little rant and update you guys about what’s going on here. So yeah, I’ve kinda hit a snag right now.
Allow me to explain what’s going on.
So, as many of you know, life isn’t really kind to yours truly.
(If you didn’t know then you’re probably new here, in that case, welcome aboard!)
But hey, who IS it kind to? I’ve always made jokes about how life shits on me and all that, and recently things have been a lot less messy here. I’m grateful for that, I really am.
However, it does not change the fact that a LOT of time was lost (but not wasted, I’m grateful for that too). Randowis was consistently being pushed back for months, but I can finally start to catch up. Or so I thought.
Things still do pop up from time to time, forcing me to delay my shit, but I tell myself it’s alright and just work harder to finish it on time.
However, doing that too often has its toll and recently I’ve not only been feeling them, but also seeing them take place.
In other words, I’ve been working too hard to catch up on time which can never be recovered, and my health and ‘family time’ is taking the hit.
I’ve never really had peace and quiet here on my end, so I’m used to rushing work and tanking all-nighters. The irony now is that, since life has finally settled down a little, Rando decides do mess it up on his own. Because of my paranoia of when life will send me another box of cuss-shaped lemons, I didn’t really plan ahead and just did as much as I could for as long as I could in this rare time of peace. Boy was I wrong.
By doing so, my priorities became inconsistent, projects we’re being juggled around everytime a sliver of progress was made, and things were barely meeting the days they were meant to be released. I ended up not making any artworks or animations, and even struggled with making doodles this month.
I was being too ambitious, I’d say.
In all honesty, MMO’s Chapter 4 could’ve been released last month, if I’d just plan myself a little better. Even now, this month’s issue of MonthlyWis (Nov) is not even complete.
So last night, before kicking it in at around 4am, I was thinking to myself about all the things that I wanted to do for Randowis, the animations, the comics, podcasts, livestreams, videos, EVERYTHING that I’d love to make for you guys, but at the same time, how I’m unable to reach any of that the way things are right now. So I raised a white flag and I told myself, that I can’t do this anymore. (No I’m not stopping Randowis! Don’t be too quick to assume, dumbass! And no, I didn’t actually have a flagpole next to my bed, it’s a figure of speech. Sheesh. WHO AM I TRYING TO CORRECT ANYWAY?!)
What I mean is, I’m gonna need a break. A short one. I’ll use this time to recuperate, physically and mentally, and reschedule myself to prevent something like this from ever happening again.
Simply put, I’ll be taking things a little slower from now on, meaning to say I’ll still make stuff, they’ll just take longer to upload. I’ll also be pushing this month’s MonthlyWis (Nov 30) to next month (Dec 31). To those who were expecting all sorts of bullshit from Amirul and me, I apologise for the delay but I hope you understand why.
I love you guys, and I can’t thank you all enough for loving my work back.
A lot of you guys send me messages about how I made your day better, or how you haven’t felt this happy in a long time, and I wanna keep doing that. Bringing a smile to both our faces.
But to be honest with you guys, I have this fear that if I don’t upload anything or don’t create enough stuff or even upload frequently, I’m not being good enough and that I’m failing you as an artist.
On the other hand, the same lot of you who know this are telling me to not be such paranoid pussy and to just keep doing what I do. I AM trying dammit!
I believe that this will help me take the first step, by not being too ambitious, going slow, and getting my shit together.
I’m not gonna be the best artist, but I want to be the best Randowis I can be for you guys, just a little bit slower now.
I hope you guys are okay with this random rant that literally came out from nowhere. It’s just something that’s been on my mind for quite some time and I thought I’d just let it out.
Another way to look at all this, is that you’re only gonna be missing this month’s MonthlyWis (Nov), and everything except comics will take a longer time to upload.
I hope that isn’t too much for any of you.
Love you much much.
I’ll see you again soon. (Like, this Saturday.)